During wheat harvest, Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants, which he brought to his mother Leah. Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.”
-Gen 30:14
Paul wanted to take him along on the journey, so he circumcised him because of the Jews who lived in that area, for they all knew that his father was a Greek.
“You are a child of the devil and an enemy of everything that is right! You are full of all kinds of deceit and trickery. Will you never stop perverting the right ways of the Lord?”
Joshua 9:24
They answered Joshua, “Your servants were clearly told how the LORD your God had commanded his servant Moses to give you the whole land and to wipe out all its inhabitants from before you. So we feared for our lives because of you, and that is why we did this.”
Umm… what the hell do I do? What’s a mandrake?!
Random Verse Generator, who’s next?
ETA: I googled
Yeah, I’m goin’ to jail.
Acts 16:3
oof, jail it is.
Exodus 35:3 Passage: “Do not light a fire in any of your dwellings on the Sabbath day.”
Well, not jail at least.
I got Acts 13:10
Wtf am I supposed to do with that information
Sounds like a free pass to me. God hates you already so just fucking have at.
Leviticus 19:21
Passage: The man, however, must bring a ram to the entrance to the tent of meeting for a guilt offering to the LORD.
Sounds like you will have to apologize for problems at work that you cause with livestock.
It could mean you need to steal your neighbor’s truck.
Steal the neighbor’s truck to apologize for the first thing, then say sorry to the neighbor by giving them livestock.
Psalms 80:3 Passage: Restore us, O God; make your face shine on us, that we may be saved.
Guess I have good chances of winning
Isaiah 5:22 Passage: Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine and champions at mixing drinks.
God in a night out: I fucking love you guys and I fucking love the bartender!
Bible writers: Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine and champions at mixing drinks.
Woe, is me!
It’s genocidin’ time!
First one that’s am actual command:
Psalms 136:3 Passage: Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever.
His love endures forever while your pathetic body crumbles
Ok, I’m fine till winter
1 John 2:17
I live to see another day