We need to make our cities and towns more family friendly. This is called the “missing middle” in housing, and it’s why in north america all we see are either large condo towers or single family homes, which also drives our urban sprawl problems. Which exacerbate out dependency on cars.
Almost all new large towers/buildings in north america prioritize bachelor’s units 1 and 2 bedroom units. Trying to find a well priced 3 or 4 bedroom in a “lively” downtown center, close to transit and work, with plenty of schooling in the area is almost impossible. It’s also a factor in why cities became so empty during the pandemic, ie. Not to many families living permanently in cities.
Here’s a good article that also talks about the same issue with some different apparment layouts, and why developers don’t provide adequate family units.
https://www.centerforbuilding.org/blog/we-we-cant-build-family-sized-apartments-in-north-america
This together with zoning requirements in north america is pushing most cities and developers to only cater towards large towers or single family housing.
A lot of this is because dense housing is for the wealthy in the US. You listed NYC and SF but almost every single big city has a dense center it’s just expensive. Generally expensive apartments are designed to be more spacious.