Unethical life pro tip: want to kill yourself but left something for your family? Buy a life insurance policy, call the suicide prevention hotline and wait for the cops to kill you. Isn’t technically suicide, so the life insurer can’t deny your family claim!!
You think the cops wouldn’t mark as a suicide?
Cops will still claim it was suicide-by-cop. Which is some top-tier copaganda, because it’s just another way of them saying “if you call us while in distress, there’s a good chance we’ll kill you then blame you for it.”
At least in Canada life insurance will still cover you committing suicide, but it has to occur 1-2 years after your plan starts.
Same with my policy in the US. Already have it seasoned past the mark, so I joke with my wife that I can make her a millionaire.
Insurance companies hate this new easy trick.
Or pay off the corner to list your death as natural causes or something.
Like my uncle did.
What does that mean?
Auto correct got me again. Coroner.
For those that are genuinely confused, there’s two very important things you must know. The coroner is the job title for the guy who writes up what caused you to die. They do things like autopsies (when required), and they’re basically a doctor for dead people.
The other thing is the English idiom of “paying [someone] off”, which is basically a common way to not so subtley say that you’re bribing them.
So in plain language: there is an extremely good chance that my uncle bribed the coroner to ignore whatever he found on my uncle when he died and say he perished from natural causes. This normally implies something about self deletion and insurance, since insurance basically never pays out if you die by your own hands.
Is anyone still confused? Please let me know if you are and I can address any part of this that might not be crystal clear.
It’s not quite about clearness, but if your uncle did that all by himself that means he must have trusted the coroner a lot. Which is a bit surprising with regard to bribing one, to my mind.
He had connections. May he rest in peace.
He had fallen in with some questionable types throughout his life, partly due to his work. I won’t get into many details here, I don’t want it to be traced back to his family or anything; but due to the circumstances he found himself in, bluntly, he was worth more dead, than alive. He would only be worth anything if he died “naturally” or something, since life insurance is kind of a stickler for that sort of thing.
All I was told was that he had made arrangements for his body to be found, and around what was going to be done afterwards to ensure that insurance paid out so his family would be taken care of.
The circumstances were kinda BS too, it wasn’t his fault, but he was liable and there was little he could do to change that. He knew what the outcomes were and to him, death was the better option. I’m not saying I agree with his choices. I had no real part in them, I was too young at the time to really grasp what was happening, and appropriately, I was not aware of, nor involved in any of it, and heard most of what I know through my older siblings and from my father (his brother). He apparently sent my dad a note the night before he was found dead basically summarizing what was about to happen, so it was very clearly planned. As far as I’m aware, everything went according to plan and though I don’t have much contact with that part of my family, I believe they’re doing just fine.
Just a touch more detail on the circumstances, it was some legal issue he found himself kind of “holding the bag” for (so to speak) so his outcomes were: (extremely unlikely) he would be found innocent, and allowed to return to his “normal” life - obviously he didn’t think this was possible at all. (most likely) he would be found guilty and sentenced to many years in prison. Being a convict would ruin his chosen vocation as there’s a lot of trust required in what he does and a conviction would basically exclude him from working in his field. (alternatively) he dies, insurance pays out, his family gets a big wad of cash, and he would be just as useless as if he was found guilty; but now with a pretty significant amount of money given to his family.
I don’t hold it against him. I don’t have any strong feelings on the matter. It’s just something that happened.
It’s sad that people find themselves in such situations, my condolences… well, to him and his family mostly
probably to pay sb in advance to falsify the death certificate
I kinda legit want to check the conditions of my current life insurance policies regarding suicide. Not because I want to off myself today, but because I do want to off myself if I get the stage four diagnosis or some such thing.
Usually, after 2 years suicide is covered.
It’s called “Gettin’ the job done!”
Suicide by cop is a real thing.
In all seriousness does the insurance still pay it if it’s suicide by cop?
It was suicide. Claim denied!
But he had a heart attack.
We have a receipt that shows he ate McDonald’s 3 years ago. This is clearly suicide by food.
Probably not, most insurers love to have every possible exception in the contract (e.g. taking part in illegal activity), to get out of payment
I guarantee his death is listed as “suicide” in the official report.
I mean, without context it’s hard to tell, but suicide by cops is a thing, some people take advantage of the trigger happiness of cops and make them kill them.
“make” them
cop drops two mags into a non-threat
HE MADE ME DO IT!
reloads for a third mag
gotta be sure
“It’s coming right for us!”
Thank you for not saying “clip”
This comment is elsewhere in this post with exclusively upvotes but you getting down voted for some reason lol
Can’t die from suicide if you die from homicide first
Can’t go to hell from suicide if someone kills you
True but unfortunately his pants were 2% elastane so he will, in fact, still be going to hell
That’s why I never wear pants at all! See?
Kirkland signature stretchy jeans are the GOAT. If I’m going to hell, at least I’ll be wearing comfy pants
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Oh sht. The cops were the good guys all along. They’re angels sent by God to take us all to heaven 🙏🙏🙏
/s (I’m going to vomit from having to type that)
Truly a big brain move by god
I mean…technically the suicide was prevented.
Hahaha 🥹😂😂
saved himself a quarter by not usin one of them fancy suicide booths
That is why you put the quarter on a string
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He reportedly yelled “killsteal”
I’m going to hell for laughing so hard at this.
Same vibes as this
Lmao. Norwegian? Swedish?
Swedish. I remember when this was on TV.
Trained, qualified police doing quality police work keeping dangerous people with guns off the street, got it.
That could have been the poor man’s plan all along. Suicide by cop. Local PD is just providing a free service. If only there was another way.
Never call cops to solve a problem for you because then you have TWO problems.
pro tip: Whatever problem you have, just throw a molotov cocktail at it.
now you have a totally different problem!
The good place! Amazing show
I can’t find a single source or article about this. I think this a scare meme meant to frighten people away from using the new 988 suicide prevention hotline number.
This is a very irresponsible post that can harm a lot of people.
I think it was this but he gets shot by a state trooper, not the SWAT team. But SWAT members were called to try to help negociate. He had a gun and was intoxicated, which is kinda expexted with being suicidal anyways. It doesn’t show in the article him threatening anyone.
https://news.yahoo.com/suicidal-man-calls-crisis-hotline-220712118.html
another article for this incident, guess he came to the door during crisis negotiations, cop saw him with a gun, shot him. Did you think he’d be threatening to kill himself with an eggbeater, there, 15 year vet cop Sgt Jessie Hartsock?
https://www.wbaltv.com/article/fatal-police-shooting-carroll-county-under-investigation/44093015
Why the hell would you send a SWAT team to someone suicidal? O.o
Guess he called hotline saying he’s gonna take someone else’s life before his own?
I hope so. otherwise this is just psychotic.
ACAB
Curb Your Suicide
Is this like door dash for saddies?
