AKA please, don’t tell me “get professional help”. Poor people can’t afford it anyways.
- LLMs make decent therapists. Try CharacterAI or even just assign a therapist persona to ChatGPT (makes it more accurate - e.g. “You are an experienced psychologist with experience in the following therapies…”). This is both solo and affordable.
- Look into books you can read about managing your mental health.
- There are loads of apps out there that can help you with your depression, e.g. supplement your flagging executive function, remind you to practice rejection of useless self-castigation, help you check in with how you’re feeling, etc.
- Go outside at least once a day.
- Exercise at least once a day for half an hour.
- Set small and manageable goals, and make sure you speak to yourself positively when you achieve the goal, no matter how small.
These are all admittedly easier said than done when you’re depressed, but they are better than nothing, especially if you weren’t doing anything in these areas earlier.
Some of the things that helped me:
- Regularity. I also have ADHD so actually getting me to catalog daily/weekly things that I need to do was hard enough. But now that I have like 5 todo lists things are looking up.
- Cataloging things. I love photography and writing down interesting ideas. Someone looking through my photo collection might wonder why I take photos of random shit. Simple reason: Something managed to brighten my day and I just had to put it in on the record. I feel happier when I know that those moments won’t ever disappear if I can at all manage it. Similarly, if I have cool ideas that made me happy for some reason, I write them down.
- Crap social media is the worst. Be on the social media to fearlessly shout your cool ideas to the void if you have to. Don’t be there to passively and silently afraid to speak up and stick around with people you barely know and watch them slowly turn nazi yes-men. (Yes. It has happened. Before Elon bought Twitter. Can’t even imagine how shit things are nowdays over there.)
Read “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl. Helped me through a hard time in my life.
Ultimately, you don’t battle it alone. You are here. You read this. This is you not being alone. And just like this little exchange, there are other possibilities out there. You just have to try and reach out. Even if it seems hopeless to you. I read a lot of useful stuff in here. Sometimes that alone helps. Sometimes the tiniest steps are valuable. Just keep on. We can overcome.
It’s very difficult, and in the end, it comes down to finding things that work for you, but in my experience, doing it “on my own” is virtually impossible. Humans need social interaction and often help, especially when battling with mental illness. That being said, there are some things that help most people.
-
Exercise - you don’t need to run a marathon or lift free weights, but any kind of exercise, including walking, can have a big boost on mental health. If you can, working up a sweat can help release more endorphins (and also helps motivate me to take a shower when I’m struggling with hygiene).
-
Sleep - prioritize getting good sleep. This has a huge effect on your mental health, and lack of sleep makes intrusive thoughts more difficult to ignore. If you suffer from suicidal ideation, this can be very beneficial. It can also help set up a routine for exercise, hygiene, etc. if you have more consistent bed and awake times.
-
Eating healthy- this is hard, because often when depressed we go for unhealthy foods, which make us feel bad, so we eat more of them and it perpetuates the cycle. If you really struggle with this start by making small changes - find a fruit or vegetable you genuinely enjoy and start incorporating more into your diet. Learning some basic cooking skills can also make healthy eating more enjoyable.
-
reduce drug and alcohol use (if any) - these can be excellent short term solutions, but will often make you feel worse in the long run
-
find someone to talk to - online resources help, but there’s no substitute for genuine in person (or over the phone) interaction. This can be harder said than done if you’re older or in an area where it’s hard to meet people. Support groups are also excellent- there’s something very empowering about being surrounded by folks experiencing the same challenges you do every day.
-
practice gratitude- take some time every day to thing of things you are genuinely thankful for. Supposedly, the brain can’t think or negative things while you are thinking of positive ones. Even if that’s not true, taking time to appreciate the good things in your life (even if it’s something small like your morning coffee) can help redirect your thought process.
Lastly, understand you can do all the “right” things to battle depression and still be depressed. No amount of exercise or vegetables will suddenly make you better - you will likely still have bad days. That’s why, for me, it’s important to have people I know I can call and talk to (my brother being a big one right now). We don’t even really talk, I just call him and cry talk for a bit and eventually it doesn’t hit so hard.
Give yourself some credit for all the bad days you’ve been through- if you weren’t strong, you wouldn’t have made it this far. Good luck! I’m rooting for you!
-
Thats a great question, I should know considering ive been depressed for years. I mostly focus on the near future so I can make it through the constant traumatic events in my life.
Once a day, think of one simple thing that a depressed person would not do. Do that. For some examples:
- Take even the shortest walk around the neighborhood.
- Read just ten pages of any book.
Also, think of something that you do especially when depressed, and avoid doing it. For some examples:
- Don’t watch TV
- Don’t scroll on social media
Sometimes habits become compulsive, you can do a lot for yourself by adding even a small amount of friction to doing those things. For some examples:
- When I notice that I go through periods of poor sleep due to habitually reaching for my phone, I might remove the charger from my phone and put it in a living area and charge it there at night. I might prepare 8 hours of podcasts and connect my Bluetooth before bed so I can have something to take my mind off things in case wake up or cannot sleep.
- Simply logout of social media sites, so that I’m forced to take a deliberate action to log back in to start doom scrolling again.
For more proactive maintenance things I try to do, which are important to establish when I’m mentally in a good place, I might make a weekly list of happy chores, like make sure I talk to a family member, make sure I talk to a friend, make sure I actually see someone in person, or play a video game in a way that I’m making progress at it, or spend 10 minutes practicing an instrument.
You need to exploit your good times to establish patterns of good habits for your hard times.
I struggle with depression and choose to deal with it without medication. I have a loose mental health routine… more like a list of things to do on a daily/weekly/monthly basis.
Daily:
Shower
Eat
Spend a minimum of ten minutes cleaning my space.
If not working, spend at least 20 minutes outside; preferably doing some kind of exercise, but just chillin’ is ok too.
Weekly:
Attend some kind of social event. Doesn’t mean anything huge. I got in to D&D and that takes care of that one most weeks. Regular social activity is important.
Monthly:
Clean the bathroom! (Preferably bi-weekly)
This is not a complete list of things I do to help my mental health, but they’re the ones I force myself to do even if I don’t want to. It helps.
I also follow a general guideline I learned in therapy. Keep track of things you’re doing and put them in to one of three categories: professional development, self care, recreation.
The goal is to spend your waking hours doing these things evenly. (I suppose sleeping counts as self care in the right situation)
I’m a former addict. Been clean for 4 years now. I learned these things in recovery and the whole time I thought to myself “This should be a high school course. You don’t need to be an Addict to benefit from this stuff.”
Anyway, these things truly help me and I hope they can help you too.
Lots of good advice here, so I’ll add a few easy things that helped me that don’t take much energy. 1: get at least five minutes of direct sunlight a day, not through a window. 2: take an iron and vitamin D supplement, having more energy makes me less depressed. Try a multi vitamen if you don’t know where to start. 3: making sure you have healthier snack foods, I swapped out candy for gummy fruit snacks, yogurt for ice cream. I know how hard it can be to eat real meals when you are struggling so make your snacks count positively.
So much good advice, I find being grateful for things really helps, and I would also recommend CBT. Good luck, and remember, one step at a time, one day at a time.
Look at online options, some of them are fairly. So are some of the drugs. If it’s a chemical imbalance, like it was for me, you literally can’t fight it on your own. All you can do is exist.
Recognize that it’s not your fault, you don’t deserve it, and sometimes accepting it for what it is makes it easier.
Running shirtless at -3 ℃
“On curing sadness with cold showers, excess with Cynicism, and madness with veganism. And if you can’t go vegan, eat the rich.” —https://arscyni.cc/file/cynic.htmlPersist.
Keep at it; try again tomorrow.
Depression will rob you of joy, erode your appetite for life, and leave you blaming yourself for any/everything.
In those circumstances where you cannot defeat it, you can still outlast it.
Do what you can for yourself. When you can do no more, do what you can for the person you will be later, and, when you can do no more: forgive yourself.
Depression is a parasite and it’s been eating your strength far longer than you realize.
Professional help moght be as simple as antidepressantants. They are cheap and they do help a lot. I have been taking it for about a year and it does help a lot. Currently on a decent dosage of venlafaxine.
Seriously, they don’t do much the first couple of weeks, but after that they do help a lot.
When hurricane Milton hit I lost power, internet and my cell signal was like using dial up so all online access was gone for about a week. Sent the family to go stay with friends and I stayed behind. With no electricity and no internet all I had was myself. The first 2 or 3 days were tough. I didn’t know what to do with myself so I cleaned and sat outside in the shade to escape the heat. By the end of the week I was in a good place, not perfect, but better than when I started. I was relaxed, my thoughts were clearer, I could comfortably focus on one thing at a time. I think knowing that after I was done focusing on something I could return to a comfortable quiet helped.
When power and internet came back within 2 days everything was back to ‘normal’. No more peace. No more comfortable focusing. Back to my usual habits. I recommend disconnecting from phones and computers for a few weeks. Give your mind time to get into the habit of not using them, it’s so easy to fall back into old habits, you have to set the stage for new ones to slowly grow, like trending a garden it takes time and effort.
One of best descriptions of self mental health care was from Rick and Morty. It’s like wiping your ass, or washing the dishes. It’s not fun but it’s something you have to do everyday. You can suffer the pain of doing it, or suffer the pain of having not done it. Front load the pain don’t offload it to your future self. Give future self a break, do some work for him/her and I know they’ll be incredibly appreciative.
I’m my past when I was at my worst I noticed that I was in a better place when I was around people than when I wasn’t. Be around people/friends if you can. Ask someone to spend party of a day with you doing absolutely anything.
Exercise until you know you will be sore the next day. I didn’t exercise regularly, but I did notice that whenever I did some physical activity that left me sore the next day, within about 2 or 3 days I was a much better version of myself for a day or two.
So in conclusion. Do nice things for future self, even talk out loud to yourself about future you like they’re someone else. Disconnect from Internet and tv so your mind can have some time to itself. Be around people, we are social animals, we need to feel like we are part of a group, a tribe, maybe go take some night classes that will force you to work on a project with others. Exercise or do something strenuous.
Oh and a couple more things, try to establish a regular sleep schedule! Someone mentioned this already and they’re right, change your environment. Your mind and body will default to the feelings it’s used to having in the place it most often has them. As an example, if you’re a home pooper then when you get home your body will go into pooping mode. If you only use your bed to sleep and not look at your phone or watch tv then you will feel sleepy when you get in bed. New environments will put your mind into learning mode not default mode, keep finding ways to keep it from sitting back down into the depression it’s left in the chair. Like that song, you can get used to a certain kind of sadness.
Okay one more thing, video games. I like playing them but I have a habit of using them like a drug. It feels good to use a drug, and when you hardly feel good why wouldn’t you use it. You will play them again, and you’ll enjoy them more after your mind has had some quite time to itself. You’ll get to play again someday, you just have some mental chores that need tending to first.
Last thing I promise. Quite time is even better when done in nature. Any nature. Hundreds of thousands of years of evolution designed us to be in nature, part of nature. Quite time means no podcasts or music as well.
Now get out there and do the dishes, wipe your ass, and do something nice for future self, they fucking deserve it.