What qualities do you covet?
I wish I liked to study. It would save me a lot of trouble.
You ever tried those exam prep books and just try taking tests till it absorbs organically?
Never tried. I might try sometime.
I wish I would be less of an hypocrite.
What makes you a hypocrite?
I do the things I despise others for doing.
Like?
Cutting people of while driving.
Why do you think that happens?
“Rules for Thee but not for Me”
There’s a cognitive or logical error that this describes. Something about others are judged by actions and outcomes, we judge ourselves by heavily-rationalized intention
Do you think its possible to try evaluating people more on their intentions and demonstrated efforts rather than whatever outcome that comes of it if it seems reasonable they are genuine in their dealings with you?
I feel like when people are given and palpably experience genuine grace and having their dignity upheld, they are usualy more inclined to reciprocate as well pay it forward
Bigger tits would be nice. They’re not small, but I’m a boob girl and so it’d be nice.
I also wish I was better at selling myself and developing professional skills quickly.
Its such a cruel thing that humans dont get to choose where the fat goes when we overindulge for too long. Women would be able to accentuate areas they would like to be more curvy in, men could distribute it more evenly so it would be relatively bigger overall rather than fat in any one area
Patience.
Everywhere I go people meander like zombies whether it’s walking, driving, shopping, etc. I can’t figure out why people are soooooo slow, do they have nothing to accomplish? It constantly puts me off, but it’s probably because I moved to a big city in the west (US) coast.
That I had all the energy needed to do things that make me happy. I have a lot of commitments that are more important but less fun than my hobbies. Every time I have to deal with those, it saps my energy for fun things.
I wish I could dance. I have rhythm, just not with my body.
I wish I were more handy or had the mindset for tinkering and doing mechincal repairs. I lack the focus and spatial awareness to look at something, diagnose the problem, and effectively repair it or jury-rig a solution around it.
Try learning to code a bit if its of interest to you. It will MAKE you into a tinkerer, driven by the thrill of the squashing of the bug and getting the outputs va inputs that you want and is correct
Same. Always been a dreamer and creative person, just never practical. Although, having the spirit is the first step, right?
I’m great, so I wish I had more money.
I wish I were less anxious/self-conscious. It’s weird because outwardly almost no one knows that I am. I’m charismatic and easy to talk to, a natural leader in the workplace (I’ve managed now at every job I’ve held) and I’m a loving and supportive father. But deep down I’m still self-conscious as hell. I experience a lot of spotlight syndrome and I feel like I dress frumpy, walk weird, etc. I have a lot of social anxiety and think every situation/confrontation is going to be a worst-case scenario. Had to take 5 weeks off of work for a stress fracture and allowed myself to believe leading up to it that my (typically supportive) boss was going to be angry or petty or challenge me over it. He was extremely supportive and told me to just take the time off and not to worry about putting out the fires at work.
I don’t know how I conditioned myself to be like this. Probably a side-effecting of growing up fat and all the self-hate that came with it. I got rid of the fat a lot time ago, but I don’t think that shit ever really left me. Fortunately my daughter does not share my lack of confidence. That kid is miles ahead of her peers and I’m so proud of her.
Normal joints
Mine are slightly misshapen due to genetics and this causes more frequent strains and injuries. It’s a ticking time bomb for me needing really expensive surgery :(
Wish I could negotiate and haggle, I just don’t want to, it doesn’t feel good to me. I’d rather accept or refuse the offer and move on.
Do you tend to struggle with people pleasing as well or is it limited to negotiation?
It’s more to do with honesty. If the seller says it’s worth this much and that’s what they need to charge to cover their costs, then I would like to think that’s true because if it isn’t, they’re lying.
I think this might be where it comes from for me, too. If you say it’s with x, and I think it’s worth z, I don’t want to insult you or assume you’re trying to scam me by asking for x, but I also don’t want to pay much more than z.
The concept of some mystical “y” living in the middle is lost to me and it’s socially impossible to reach “y” without me calling you a scammer or you calling me cheap, so no deal will be made today.
Yes that’s exactly it!
Limited to negotiation.
Beauty
Athleticism and the ability to be sufficiently social.
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I really struggle to answer this even though I have this constant feeling of something being wrong. I’ve been quite lucky with genetics and the things I’ve wanted to change that can be changed I pretty much already have.
I guess there are two things I’d like to even further improve on:
- I’d like to care less. I like myself the least when I get emotionally captured. I’d like to just be able to let it go and be teflon where nothing sticks.
- I’d like to naturally want to read more.
Reading can feel like such a chore, even if you enjoy it.
I have trouble getting started. I’m not sure why I feel as though I should only read a book at a time, and that I should finish every book I start.
So I am trying to treat reading more like how I watch TV. I can start and stop, maybe skip a slow episode (chapter, page). I read more than one book at a time. I just swap between books as my interest changes.
Also, audiobooks have been a really great way for me to read more. I listen on walks, while driving, doing odd jobs, or just while playing some mindless game that keeps my eyes and hands occupied while I listen.
It’s just so much more fulfilling than listening to music. I find nothing is quite comparable to the way books capture a moment. Theres just so much perspective and wisdom even in fiction books, they can make other media seem somewhat shallow in comparison sometimes.
If you get/have a library card, see if they support overdrive/libby. I periodically replace my social media apps on my homescreen with a book reading app. When muscle memory decides its time to doom scroll, I end up reading a few pages of a book on my phone instead.
About caring less, I cant claim to have figured it out, but read stoic philosophy seems to help put me on the right track. My understanding is its the basis for a lot of modern psychotherapy, and it seems to make a lot of sense to me.
Do you listen to podcasts too or just audiobooks? In my case, I already listen to a lot of podcast, and I feel like when I’d have a chance to listen to audiobook, I’d just rather put on a podcast. Though perhaps some non-fiction, especially if read by the author.
I have trouble finding podcasts I like. Usually if I want to hear a story, I want to be engrossed and have as many details as possible. And for nonfiction, I tend to dislike a lot of commentary. I just want the information as plain as possible.
