The thing that comes only with age is: to not give a fuck.
When we learn that it doesn’t matter we can all be little old people who are purple mohawk headed, wearing clashing neon adidas jumpsuit with zebra primted boas.
I only learned this a few weeks ago at 40 years old, now my hair is blue, both my ears are pierced and I’m a lot happier. I told my 19 year old daughter that “what will people think?” has been my mantra, now it’s “fuck 'em”
"at 20, you care the world what everyone thinks of you
At 40 you learn to not care what anyone thinks of you
At 60, you realize nobody has been thinking about you at all, the whole time."
If you quit worrying what people think of you, you’ll realize how seldom they do.
Hey, I’m you and you’re me! I also just turned 40 in late September. Happy belated birthday, ya old fart!
There’s always someone who will look at your life telling you you’re doing everything wrong. And you know what? That’s fine. It really doesn’t matter.
Your own happiness is more important that somebody else’s happiness.
Not to say you shouldn’t be nice or help people, or invest in other people’s growth.
But don’t do it to the detriment of your own.
Dating lol
When someone is abusive or hurtful to you, 90% of the time it’s not your fault. It’s that there is something wrong or something broken in them. They are malfunctioning and it’s necessary to understand that.
The other 10%… Well, own that and fix your mistake.
But a very large majority of the time, it’s them being broken and wrong.
Figuring out abusive relationships for me was hard because I knew friends with good intentions, and gave valid criticism but were absolutely brutal about it.
Now I very rarely associate with very insecure people. They are always looking to “prove” themselves, often by putting others down.
They can’t just accept someone’s accomplishment, they have to go “well actually you got help from so and so…” And always try to undermine your achievements. Extremely mentally exhausting people.
For me it’s been rough accepting that I’m absolute bpd bait. I struggle to hold boundaries and am happy to help people in need. Add in a trusting nature and yeah I’m still learning how not to get abused.
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Any work or study done during an all-nighter is a waste.
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If you meet someone and all they do is talk about themselves, they won’t be a good friend.
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Nobody really cares how you look or what you wear. And anyone who does has bigger issues they would rather not deal with.
Depends. When I was in art school, I regularly worked for 36 hours straight, and at least once for 72 hours straight. But it’s studio work, where you’re actually making a <<thing>>; it never would have worked to have been trying to read Marx/Engels or Hegel and expect to have any kind of comprehension.
Yeah engineering work on an all nighter is worse than not, but you gotta do what you gotta do and it’s physically there then.
Though writing for a classics class is the other area I’ve found all nighters to be acceptable. Though that was as a 19 year old on methylphenidate.
Any work or study done during an all-nighter is a waste.
Depends. I did some of my best work at this time (private project. not for my actual workplace).
Same. That’s when everyone else goes to sleep and actually leaves you time to focus on your work.
I sense ADHD (source: am ADHD)
Maybe ;)
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Grace Periods.
I’m glad I know them now, because for the longest time, I thought I was in a fucked situation whenever my finances were tight. Like if I was due a bill and my pay cannot cover it because of the dates being different. It used to make think that I had to take a hit and just roll with it. But no, some of my bills allow me a brief grace period where I can gather resources in time. Sometimes I’ll even stretch my money beyond some grace periods if it means that I can upkeep some resources then just pay the difference later.
Brushing teeth regularly, and flossing , is more important than I ever realized.
Man good dental hygiene is one of those things you just do not think about until you’re older. Flossing, interdental, mouth wash (before brushing), regularly visiting the hygienist and dentist. Your teeth evolved to last 35-ish years, the rest only happens from hygiene.
Mouthwash before brushing? Because you don’t rinse out the toothpaste?
Yes 100% that. I’ve never met a dentist who didn’t immediately tell me to rinse before brushing on hearing I used mouthwash; they all categorically said not to do it after brushing.
Well, that totally makes sense, thanks. I’ve been doing it the other way around for some reason
You can blame the Listerine ads for that.
I’m dreading the day my bad mouth hygiene will catch up to me… I know how bad it is but I still can’t get myself to brush every night.
It gets mighty expensive.
If you’re like me, then some time in your thirties. I didn’t brush from early teens through until then - I had several abcesses and needed seven teeth removed, including my top fronts. Turns out I had undiagnosed autism, depression and low self image. Now I do brush, and it’s just a case of forcing myself to adapt to a routine. Even keeping some flouride mouthwash handy for a quick swill every now and then helps a bit. Hope you find your way.
I was like you, the transition was not easy, but what helped me was to brush my teeth when I already went to the bathroom to pee. This meant that I rarely brush my teeth at the same time. But I do it every night now. This also helped me reduce my snacking after 20:00. Because I didn’t want to snack after brushing my teeth. I convinced myself I was going to do this and ever since I only missed 2 nights. What also helped is using a tracking app where I could check it to “gameify” it.
Have you tried putting your toothbrush and toothpaste in the shower? I’ve struggled with brushing my whole life and this is the only thing I’ve ever tried that actually worked. I also put a brush and paste at every sink but the only time I can ever actually manage to brush is in the shower.
Brush whilst the water is heating up means you’re doing your bit to help the environment! And other such half truths I tell myself to get through the day.
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It’s OK to only do what you KNOW you are capable of doing. Too many people hurt themselves trying to push themselves too hard, when they just aren’t ready yet.
That it doesn’t matter what other people think of me as long as I’m happy.
It doesn’t matter what other people think, full stop. The world is full of people who think they know better. ignore them.
I think there’s a balance. if you really don’t care anymore, you’ll become a bad person that nobody wants around
That property has more rights and protections than people do.
The value of human life, in reality, is much lower than I thought it would be.
Laws and rights are only as good as the people & mechanisms that enforce them. A piece of paper doesn’t protect you, people do.
That people often prefer a comforting delusion over the truth, even if it hurts them in the long run.
Manage your finances. Know where every penny goes. Budget as best as you can - plan for all of the things you know you spend money on through a year. It doesn’t mean you can’t spend money on things you like, but it does mean that you know when you can afford it. It gives you confidence and control no matter how much you are making.
There are some services I use that make like a million charges under a dollar. Those are really hard to manage so I use a privacy card with a spending limit to keep track of them.
Double entry bookkeeping.
Who was committing fraud?
The sunk cost fallacy is a very easy way to get stuck being miserable.
Sometimes a drastic change might be painful at the time but will be much better for you overall.
Definitely agree with this one
Basic necessities arent a given and one should b grateful for em
Grateful to who?
I think you can just be grateful to have or experience something. Like you can’t be grateful to anyone for a full moon, but you can be grateful that you saw it.
The people who give them to you?
Yeah, I didn’t know people were just giving out basic necessities. I’ve been allowing people to exploit my labor for nothing this whole time?
