I (21M) live in an Ohio household of hardcore Trumpers who, unfortunately, found out that I voted for Kamala Harris.
My father and brother are fascists. They believe in killing anyone who disagrees with Trumpism. My mother is not violent, but drank basically all the QAnon Kool-Aid and is batshit insane.
I am disabled. My cognitive ability suffers severely if I sit up or stand up for more than a few minutes. I also have another condition that requires me to avoid bending my neck, so I have to keep it straight. I also can’t safely lift anything that’s heavier than a few pounds, so anything more than that is very risky. I can push and pull fine.
I am also financially-dependent on my mother at the moment.
We moved to a new house recently, and the walls are very thin. That allowed me to overhear a private conversation between my father and brother.
My brother said that he hates Harris supporters so much that he wants a day of retribution where he goes on a violent rampage to kill everyone he knows who supports her, especially gay and transgender people. When my dad asked if that included me, he did not hesitate to say “Sure.”
My brother is in peak physical condition. He owns guns and has military training. I had long suspected that he is the biggest potential threat to my life, but gaslighted myself into thinking I was overreacting. Today, he confirmed it.
My brother isn’t the type to throw out threats of violence willy-nilly. He has also physically abused me in the past when we were younger and has major anger issues. I believe that I have to take this threat seriously, and that means that I need to evacuate ASAP. I think the most likely day for him to act is on election night or shortly after, which would give me just over a week. But then again, I can’t be sure. Maybe he is planning a surprise.
My mother is too unreasonable to take any of this seriously.
I have a few thousand dollars and Democratic relatives from the South who might potentially take me in, though I don’t know for sure if they will, since we’re not close emotionally. I also don’t know if my brother will go out of his way to target them once he notices my absence. He is going to an out-of-state Trump rally this week, so I know that he doesn’t have much trouble crossing state lines.
I don’t know where my birth certificate and social security card are, other than that my mother has them somewhere. My father is home the entire time and stays in one spot where he can see everything. Even if I knew where they were, there is no way for me to retrieve them without him noticing.
Fuck fascism. I was born to a family of vile abusive sociopaths. It was hell the whole time. I won’t miss any of them. Fuck them. They are a disappointment to the rest of my family line. I spent my entire life learning how to become a decent human being in spite of it all and now the fuckers want me dead. FUCK. THEM.
The thing that separates me from the rest of my family is empathy. I refused to hate the people they wanted me to hate. Instead, I listened to their stories and befriended them. I care about everyone, not just straight white Christians. I voted for Harris because I wanted the best for everyone, which means preventing the installation of an authoritarian regime. And for that, I must pay the ultimate price.
I may never get to experience love or deep friendship, but no matter how this all ends, I vow to spend the rest of my days pouring out as much love and joy as I can out to every last ally I meet.
Any advice would be helpful. I don’t want to wait, but I also can’t do this without some kind of plan. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing, so any input is appreciated.
Thank you.
Nothing to contribute to the conversation here, but fuck, I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Please do let us know if you get out of this alive.
If you’re as disabled as you say and either you have documentation (such as state benefits) or it’s just obvious I would try APS (adult protective services) over the cops. Things will move faster and more effectively if you do some of the legwork (hypothetically speaking) for them ahead of time.
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Get in touch with the family that might take you in. Try to find three options who confirm they will take you. Write down or keep in a Google doc or whatever their: full names, phone numbers, email addresses, and physical addresses. The number one thing I see holding up cases like yours is housing, and if you have all those details worked out ahead of time a caseworker can do a lot more for you a lot faster. A lot of the time our psych social workers can get someone a uber / lyft or bus ticket easily enough, the problem is figuring out where they’re going. If you have the contact info of someone they can call right there and then who has already agreed to take you, you are a slam dunk open and shut case. Get three so you have backups.
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Arrange for a ride locally such as a friend or acquaintance or literally anyone else who has a car and is willing to help you for 24-48 hours. This should not be hard to talk someone into. Many people want to help a person like you but don’t have the resources to house someone for weeks or months. For this acquantaince you are an easy way to help and feel good about themselves. Use that. Tell them to wait for you to contact them. Again, try to get three options set up so you have two failsafes.
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AFTER you’ve done that, call your local APS (adult protective services) or file a report online. Do whatever you can to keep your family from knowing you called because it might take a few hours up to maybe even a day or two for them to get to you and you don’t want your family tipped off in the meantime. Tell them you’re being held by your family and kept from accessing your legal identifying documents like your birth certificate. If you get state benefits your documentation or papers regularly mailed to you may also have a compliance / abuse reporting hotline number somewhere on it. You could also try a crisis hotline through an organization that does community outreach. Tell them they have abused you in the past and you are in fear for your life. Tell them you HAVE A PLACE TO GO you just need help getting your documents. Again, you are easy to help in this situation, they don’t need to worry about setting you up with benefits or housing or anything, just transport maybe. This is what the numbers and addresses are for, they may want to confirm you have somewhere to go and even have options. Just play up the danger and that they’re keeping you from your documents. If you get an asshole worker wait six hours and try again (change of shift) or try calling a different agency or the next town over. You may also be able to find other places to call or worst case scenario call 911.
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The SECOND they show up and if they’re able to get you those documents, get the hell out to that person who’s helping you locally and block your family and do not tell or hint or give them any other indication of where you’re going. Don’t even tell the person giving you a ride if you think it will get back to them. If necessary tell them an entirely different final destination and just get them to get you to the airport / bus terminal and get out.
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while you’re waiting, get all your medications, medical equipment / supplies, any valuables or sentimental items, and 3-5 changes of clothes all in the same area of the house. Make sure to pack sentimental clothing but especially pack accessible clothing that’s easy for you to dress yourself with. Get them into a bag if you think you can do so discreetly, but a box or even just a pile in an out of the way corner is fine. If you have any special skin safe shampoo or other non-medicine but important toiletries stash them too or just make sure they’re all in the same place in the bathroom. Get everything into 1-3 discreet / hidden piles so you just need to throw them in a trash bag and go. If there’s any valuables you think your family will try to dispute ownership of, try to get any receipts or photos of you wearing or using them or texts from someone who bought them for you or whatever else you can find and put them in a Google drive folder or email to yourself. Worst case scenario though, be willing to leave some things behind if you have to.
Good luck and godspeed. :)
This is the best advice, in the best order, which I have seen laid out so far.
To which I will add:
Assuming you do have at least a valid Drivers License… it should be possible for you to attain your own copy of your Social Security card (which is not actually a card, its just paper) and Birth Certificate.
For the former, you can make an account on ssa.gov , and it is not too hard to get a Social Security card mailed to wherever you end up. Just say your old card was stolen.
As far as your Birth Certificate… theoretically it should be possible to attain a copy through some kind of State records office/website, though I’m not familiar with Ohio specifically.
Finally, when you are settled in a new safe place, if you have not already tried, apply for SSI and/or SSDI from Social Security.
Its a mountain of paperwork, takes up to a year or more, but if you can get any form of guaranteed income, that’s better than 0.
You know, you’d think conservatives would put family before politics given their stereotypical “stated values”. But I guess that all goes out the window when their conservatism morphs into something closer to fascism.
Not all, but a whole lot of American Conservative ‘family values’ boil down to Dad is always right, no matter what he does, no matter how objectively wrong he is.
Petite authoritarianism, chauvinism, religious fundamentalism.
I grew up in a right wing, fundamentalist Christian household. Many, many American Conservatives have been like this for decades… they just used to do a better job of masking, pretending that they have a principled, respectable ideology.
As far as your Birth Certificate… theoretically it should be possible to attain a copy through some kind of State records office/website, though I’m not familiar with Ohio specifically.
Vital Statistics
Here’s the info from Ohio:
https://odh.ohio.gov/know-our-programs/vital-statistics/how-to-order-certificates
Hero.
You really need to break those paragraphs up. If you want to give people advice to help them out, the very first thing you need to do is care about how you’re presenting that information. OP even said they have issues with cognitive function sometimes, so help them out by not giving them sold blocks of texts.
And I can tell you as someone who is intimately familiar with the workings of the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services, the assistance available to OP will depend heavily on how their local country office is run. It could be as easy as you say, it could also be an absolute cluster fuck that takes weeks for no resolution because the county office has been butchered by local conservative leadership.
If you’d like to edit the thing I wrote for free at 2am to include your edits for clarity and more localized bureaucratic knowledge, I’m happy to link right to you at the beginning. Other than that, you’re welcome.
Actually, none of this advice is actionable for OP because Ohio doesn’t have exceptions for disability for APS. You must be 60 years or older.
“Adult” means any person sixty years of age or older within this state who is disabled by the infirmities of aging or who has a physical or mental impairment which prevents the person from providing for the person’s own care or protection, and who resides in an independent living arrangement.
It looks like certain countries may extend those benefits to 18-60 year olds with disabilities, but only if they have funds, and only specific a handful of counties. It’s absolutely no guarantee because the law does not require the DOJFS to respond if the person is under 60.
Honestly, if they follow your advice, the DOJFS is likely to just call the cops anyway.
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First thing is to ensure your safety.
Once you have that taken care of - what do you know about your brother’s out-of-state trip? He sounds like the kind of person who will ignore the local gun laws of wherever he is going if they’re stricter than where you live. If he’s going to a fascist meet-up, a tip that he may be illegally armed may give law enforcement a reason to start searching the Nazis for weapons.
Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses
You say that as if many cops aren’t sympathizers themselves.
Cops love busting rallies regardless of politics because it makes them feel superior.
We might as well channel their worst instincts to target Nazis.
There’s a reason the lyrics are “Some of those who work forces burn crosses.”
There’s a reason the lyrics are “Some of those who work forces burn crosses.”
I think you dropped this:
are the same that
Sorry, yes. I was in a hurry.
I really curious how they found out that you voted for Harris. Was the party dumb enough to send you a thank you letter with blue stickers or something?
The entire scenario sounds completely fabricated. Voting in the US is completely private unless the person asks for assistance. Also the amount of detail the OP provided reads like fan fiction.
Do you really not know who your family likely voted for, or your roommates? People like this don’t need a registered ballot result to make an inference that lets them act violently; unless he’d had the foresight to play at being a Trump convert months ago, I think this story is extremely credible.
It’s absolutely fake
Some states will tell you just about everything about a voter with only their name and birthdate. Not that far feteched
Cards against humanity/Super PAC’s disagree.
Its actually stupid easy to get information about who you voted for.
That’s not who you voted for but that you voted in the election.
I would wager an average US mail carrier could correctly assume who a household has voted for just from the correspondences delivered during any given election season.
For people who are worried about what their family members would think, probably they’re not donating or signing up for newsletters, so their postal mail is not going to give you much information.
A lot can be inferred. OP probably has talked about his political beliefs before with their family present (or eavesdropped). Either that, or OP had some arguments with his dad and his brother and they’re now taking leaps of faith thinking he must be a democrat.
It’s the latter.
Arguably a stupid mistake in retrospect, but all I said was that genocide against LGBTQ+ people is evil because genocide is evil, period.
I believed that opposing genocide was still in the Overton window and they hadn’t gone full fash yet.
But then they told me who they really were.
That’s when they began to constantly accuse me of voting for Harris. Because I opposed the mass killing of innocent people. I was already the oddball in my family for not spewing hateful rhetoric every day, so it was a believable narrative to them.
Maybe my brother doesn’t believe for sure that I voted for Harris and just included me in his hit list because I oppose the killing that he wants to do. Either way, the end result is the same.
Damn, I can’t believe how toxic some people can be. I hope you find a safe spot asap, OP.
That’s my question too, do they not have a secret ballot in the US? If they do (and I’m pretty sure they do) my advice to OP is to deny who they voted for until they can get to safety, “was just joking about voting Harris” is a perfectly reasonable lie if your safety is threatened, the family would have no proof or way of finding out.
In the US our actual vote is secret and anonymous, so it is possible to hide who you “pull the lever” for. When you vote in the primary however, (in most states) it is recorded which party’s primary you choose to vote in (but again your actual vote is secret) . This is a matter of public record (don’t ask me why) and campaigns use that info to target people based on their likelihood to vote for them. So if OP chose to vote in the Dem primary, their name would be on record as having participated in that Dem primary, and the local/state/national Democratic Party probably would have sent campaign materials to their address (not like thank you notes, but more like ads for Dem candidates and causes), and their family may have deduced that they had an “outsider” amongst them. Another scenario is that OP may have just been honest with them when they asked.
This is a matter of public record (don’t ask me why)
At least in some states it’s because it’s illegal to vote in more than one party’s primary. Can’t enforce that if you don’t know who voted in which.
You would think they could store that information privately, and have it be accessible privately, without it needing to be entirely public.
Our vote is not secret. You should probably go read up on just how “private” our voting information js.
I would love to be proven wrong. Source?
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Call the police and fbi immediately
Never call the police. They don’t prevent crime, they show up afterwards to hurt the person who did it. NEVER call them.
do NOT do this until you are away from your family. cops are exceptionally bad at handling this stuff
Cops =/= FBI
You know why the FBI is so terrifying? Because 20 agents have already verified the information that allows the agents to come and arrest you. The FBI gets their target. Every. Fucking. Time.
As for op, I think this is probably the only choice that you’re going to have in conjunction with working with the family that may still be able to support you.
That’s such a shitty situation that you’re in, and I am so sorry that you have to endure this. You may be disabled, but you are not weak. You are strong! You voted your conscience despite the risks of retribution from your family.
You need to come here to Australia mate.
Honestly, I feel like there are going to be a lot of refugees from the US if Trump wins
Have you seen Australias immigration policy? If hes got a disability, hes probably already denied. And how many of Americas allies do you think are going to start accepting refugees from the US? They wouldn’t risk the optics of it.
Firstly, I live in Australia… We have lots of migrants here. So yeah, I’ve seen the policies. In fact, I get along better with migrants than many multi generation Aussies
And yeah, calling them refugees was part joke, but part truth. There are lots of ways to enter including work or study. If Trump wins, its possible he’ll mess up so bad he’ll be overthrown within 4 years (that’s the worrying thing. I lived in Indonesia during the riots). So, anyone migrating might not need to last long (even the right wing will realize they fucked up bad)
Considering how many people Trump has pissed off including our ex PM, I don’t think countries will hesitate as much as you think…
I don’t think countries will hesitate as much as you think…
There are 280million dollars worth of trans national investments between just the US and Australia. The US is the number 1 foreign investor in the Australian economy by a lot. I think you over value what politicians say and undervalue what they do.
Mate, you’re just spitting out numbers…
Trump already said f you to our ex prime Minister. You think Trump gives a toss about foreign investment?
If Trump does what everyone expects him to, it’s even possible he’ll get in a position where he loses allies
World leaders in general don’t like trump.
He’s openly being a Nazi now. If it’s a cutthroat win, he’ll start prosecuting anyone he disagrees with to Guarantee control. If it’s a huge win, it’s less likely. Don’t forget, there were a lot of people affected by the Nazis, and he is openly being a Nazi now
But he’ll do whatever he needs to do to have ultimate power.
Don’t think world leaders though will bend over and take it from the golden diaper man… They’ll simply tolerate him. Especially since he has a reputation for breaking contracts.
And he’ll find every excuse he can to not pay either (if we send wool for instance, he’ll find a few grains of dirt, claim it’s low quality and than demand a refund or he’ll send it back).
Don’t underestimate the risk management other world leaders use on him
Id love to hear about this risk management plan and about how much of the 280 billion gets divested in it, if any.
Yeah… I’m wrong. You’re right
I’m sure internationally everyone loves dealing with a guy who breaks contracts.
He could request asylum. He’s under threat of political violence.
the fact this is even being suggested shows a lack of familiarity with Australia’s position on asylum seekers.
People from war-torn countries or fleeing genocide are held in international-law-violating limbo for decades, there’s no chance in hell that somebody from a developed country is getting political asylum here, especially with the current poisoned rhetoric on immigration.
I have plenty of friends who just became Aussie citizens.
One literally was less than a week ago
What newspapers are saying and what’s actually happening is two different things
I was joking about asylum, but there are many paths of entry
And with Canada next door with a fairly open door immigration wise (even with recent reductions) that’s the more likely play.
It feels like we’re starting to set the scene for the Handmaid’s Tale, with Americans claiming asylum in Canada.
I dont really think an ally of America that has almost 300 billion dollars tied up in trans-national investments is going to accept a refugee from America because they can’t just take one without acknowledgeding the same violence threatens the entire lgbtq commubity as well as all the women who live in abortion ban states, and soon enough anyone in an inter racial marrige. Australia least of all, the immigration laws there are tight.
You need to call your relatives. If one of my second cousins whom I never met gives me a call saying that they are in your position and don’t know where to turn I am driving out 4 hours to pick them up at the drop of a hat.
It is going to be be hard but there are means to get free. Explore your options once you are safe but right now job one is get safe.
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With conditions that severe, do you have access to a medical transport service or an understanding friend? One way or another, have them get you to a bus depot, buy a ticket to the nearest sane state and tap their social services to help you get established with basic care - Ohio is likely beyond broken intentionally, and it might not feel like it, but you will find social systems that function (not perfectly, but function for those truly in need) in other states.
If you’re in active danger, focus on moving (or being moved) away, as fast and far as you can afford.
Sadly, the local police/FBI likely aren’t going to do shit for you and will only increase the risk of you getting found out by the people you’re living with. I’d wait until you’re out to contact them.
Your non-crazy relatives seem like your best bet, provided they’re willing to put themselves between you and your potentially violent acquaintances should it come to that. Be honest with them.
Otherwise, people have suggested abuse hotlines and organizations, that’s probably a good place to start. If I were in your situation and I had nowhere else to turn, I’d probably reach out to the church I went to when I grew up. I’m no longer Christian but the church I went to was exceptionally open minded and left leaning and I would trust the leaders to understand and help me how they could. Maybe you know of or could ask around about a place like that in your region? I would avoid anything within your town if possible since word is likely to get back to the people you’re currently living with.
Really sorry you’re in this situation. I’m all the way on the west coast but I have a network of resources in central IL if you end up there. Reach out if you can think of more ways I can help.
My home church growing up was right leaning and as much as I hate them, I still feel like if I was in OP’s shoes it would still be a good bet. To be fair they were more center right than far right but still.
I have a hard time taking some of the advice here seriously, especially around there being some kind of conspiracy where the police are right-wing and full of fascists - but let’s take it at face value
Instead of law enforcement, go to a lawyer and ask them to help, stating that you feel that you cannot go to the police. Any law firm worth their salt would ensure that you are represented, or that you’re represented by someone from your district that will protect you. They will also keep an eye on adequate law enforcement to ensure they actually protect you, and don’t just farm you back to relatives. At the very least, they can give you enough protection to ensure that your relatives in the south can contact you and take you in if needed.
Dude… there’s no conspiracy that the police is full of right wing facists. It’s openly the truth.
Right? Lol a Democrat cop. Unheard of these days.
My wife tried to tell me that the military would stop Trump. I laughed in her face. The only brainwashing stronger than the USMC is on OAN and Fox.
I’m telling her we need to get armed, I don’t feel okay even having a Harris sign in our yard in this climate, and I’m in a historically liberal area.
A “conspiracy” in the way you used the word here would usually imply that it isn’t true, so a different word would be better.
As others have said, you really should contact the police and let them know your brother is planning to murder people.
Maybe the FBI would be a better contact in this case? I may be wrong, but to me the brothers explicit words of intention and access to guns seems very much like a threat of premeditated domestic terrorism. If that’s indeed the case, here’s the FBI’s page with contact options near the bottom.
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal/live with this OP. You deserve much better. This internet stranger is proud of you for doing all that’s within your power in such a shitty situation!
Both of these are good suggestions, but only after OP gets out.
100% agree. OP’s safety comes first and foremost!
Assuming this is real, and that you have a cell phone, I think your best resource is your not crazy relatives. Ask to visit. I find it more likely your brother is just boasting and full of shit, but if you are physically delicate, it could still end badly.
So call them and tell them what you told us, that you are worried. If they invite you, that will be an excuse to get your stuff from your mom. You need allies.
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That depends a great deal on what the local police are like. They may help. They may just let the family know about the complaint. Generations of abused women provide an unfortunate history of these issues.
And even if the police do help, they will not be able to provide protection. Their job is to arrest and prosecute the brother after he commits the murder. It’s sad and wrong, but that is the way the system works.
Democracy dumbs down civilization.
