Man, I tell ya, working as plumber in this city is hard.

You’re shoving yourself into and out of tight, wet places. Your tools take a real beating. And there’s always someone riding you to get the job done.

And you get ridiculous calls unrelated to the job. Just this afternoon, some poor lady called from inside her dryer. She’d gotten “stuck” in there. I swear, early onset dementia like that is sad to see. Not only could she have gotten herself out, she kept calling me step-brother!

Which was almost as bad as this one lady right before I got done for the day. Calls from under a bed, and my boss sends me out! I said, “dammit, Jim I’m a plumber not a search and rescue team.”

Anyways, I get there and she’s all wanting me to shove her deeper, and harder. I’m thinking, lady, you gotta be nuts, if I go any harder, I’m throwing my back out. And I’m not your damn stepson.

But you know me, I ain’t leaving until the pipe is laid. I go at it like there’s no tomorrow. By the end of it, we’re both sweaty and sticky, and she’s just dripping.

I tell ya, this job ain’t for wimps. You gotta be able to handle anything that comes at you. You gotta be able to shove the pipe into some dirty, nasty holes and bang around all damn day long.