• 9 Posts
  • 81 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 9th, 2023

help-circle
  • They want my wife and children dead. If they are near my family, they pose an existential threat. I will leave saving the proverbial souls of neo Nazis to others. I am interested in establishing that my family is off limits and dangerous for them to so much as look at.

    Would I throw a punch at a confirmed Nazi? Without hesitation.

    Some people learn to shed the racism from their heart and become better people. Some will only get so far as keeping quiet because they are afraid. There will always be severely racist people. It is just as important that they feel unequivocally unwelcome as it is to change those who will change.


  • I care very much. Please read everything I wrote. The system is broken, and we need to fix it. In the meantime, since we must live within the broken system, it is wise to do a thorough cost/benefit analysis before accepting any job. Not everyone can do that, but some can.

    We play pretty conservative baseball when it comes to personal finances. We have a smaller house further from the city than my wife’s peers at work. We buy cars that meet our needs, but our wants are frequently compromised in search of the lowest total cost of ownership. We make no major purchases without real research first. Our kids have not been to Disney, but they will hopefully be able to go to the college of their choice without a mountain of debt when the time comes.

    We are very lucky, but most people that merch our income are not actually in as stable a place as we are. That stability comes from good decisions.


  • That is a good point. We are not paying monthly premiums. Again, over the years we have chosen our employers very carefully. To be clear, we are lucky to have been in the place to do so.

    That said, we also did very well when I was a public high school teacher. The pay was awful, but the health insurance we had was better than my wife could get at most corporate jobs at the time. We now use my wife’s corporate benefits because my family’s needs have placed me as a stay-at-home dad for several years. Once she got in with a company that actually values its employees, we made the decision to stick it out.


  • I live in the US and was born here. This is true of my wife as well.

    I hate to say it because I know how bad many people have it here, but our health care experiences have been excellent. IVF? We paid a few grand by the end of everything, but that’s it - most of the cost was one hormone in particular. My cancer that almost killed me? We paid $15 co-pays for doctor appointments and physical therapy appointments, nothing for any treatments (radiation, chemo, surgeries, hydration, etc.), and about $15 co-pays for each prescription medication. My upcoming rotator cuff surgery? I’ll pay similar to the cancer. Regular in-home therapy services for our children with special needs? Free.

    This was not by accident or dumb luck. My wife and I have always chosen jobs in large part based on benefits in general and health insurance in particular. We may not make as much money on paper as job hoppers and those who chase the highest number on their paychecks. Do you know what we do have? No medical debt. Great parental leave. More vacation time than most. A legal plan that paid to set us up with every estate planning and life management document one could need.

    So it’s hard. Our system is fucking broken - too many people cannot get the care they need, or they go into debt to get it. It needs to be fixed. That said, I also have friends who just made shitty choices. They actively chose direct income over benefits. They gambled and some of them lost.

    We need to fix US healthcare in or much every way. In the meantime? My wife and I choose to play the game by the rules as they are currently written, and we play with intent to win.





  • Before the election we will be preparing bugout bags for my nuclear family and establishing concrete plans to flee.

    After the election, if Trump wins we will monitor and be ready. At the first sign of trouble we get out of dodge. I have the ability to get EU citizenship for my family if need be. In the meantime, my wife and I have skills that can get us the privilege to move into some countries based on their employment needs.

    My family and I would have reasons to be targeted by white nationalists if they felt empowered. I have received semi-threatening letters from such people in the past.

    I hate that we have to think this way, but we do.


  • Each kid and wifey could have individual Daddy/hubby attention at the same time. My yard and home would look immaculate because my ADHD task burnout could be overcome by calling in a new helper.

    I could probably make bank and help improve the lot of humanity by allowing my duplicates to go through controlled medical and scientific testing.

    At some point one of me would figure out how to leverage this ability for the absolute betterment of humankind. That would probably become a driving mission for the collective me at that point.


  • Daily alcohol: blunts my emotional pain, causes awful feelings in my stomach, does damage to multiple organ systems, is physically addictive, and gives you a hangover the next day.

    Daily THC and other cannabinoids consumed via edibles: blunts my emotional pain, blunts my physical pain, has a minor effect on working memory when used over years that does not further inhibit cognitive ability or motivation, is not physically addictive, and has no impact on the next day.

    Used to self medicate in vaguely controlled doses, it is a no-brainer. MJ is not perfect by any means, but it is world better than booze for frequent users.



  • It does not appear that you are really listening to others to do much as commenting pithy things, and I am not sure if you have some specific reason for this or if you are just picking fights.

    But let’s still break this down. Literally no one here is talking about celebrating morbid obesity. That is pretty much a straw man at this point.

    Morbidly obese people should be able to look in the mirror and think to themselves, “I look good today!” They should be allowed to go out without worry that someone will make fun of them. They should be able to go to the doctor and be heard instead of the doctor assuming every health problem is only caused by obesity.

    If you disagree with the above statements, please be very clear as to why. Everybody deserves quality medical care from their physician. Everybody deserves to not hate themselves. Everybody deserves to not be kicked for their appearance.

    No one is saying, “Woo-hoo! Try to be so fat it harms your health!” I would suggest you read up on the science of weight loss and why so many little are obese these days. There is not universal consensus, but there is general agreement that the deck is highly stacked against many people, and extra body fat is not a simple condition to deal with in many circumstances.

    People should try to lead the healthiest lifestyle they are reasonably able. No one is stating otherwise.


  • I think that you have internalized a version of body positivity that lies on the most extreme end of what is meant by that phrase. Body positivity - be comfortable with who you are and do not put down on others due to their body.

    The odds are that I am significantly fatter than you. The odds also favor that I am significantly stronger than you, even if you lift weights. I can also probably walk all day much farther than you can.

    Would it be healthier if I lose body fat? Absolutely. Have I tried for 20 years to do that? Yes. I am not ignorant regarding nutrition. I am not lazy. I am not overall lacking willpower. I am fat but otherwise healthy.

    Body positively means that my doctor treats my body fat as what it is - one aspect of my overall health. He does not assume that every problem I have is because I am fat, even though changing that would improve some aspects of my health.

    Body positively also means that I am not going to hide when I go to the beach. I am going to go shirtless and enjoy myself. If you do not find me sexually attractive, that is fine. If you are going to shame or mock me for my body fat, then you are an asshole. If I catch wind of you mocking me, I will quietly estimate how many times your bodyweight I will deadlift on Monday. If you choose to mock the scars that cover parts of my body from extreme, life-saving surgery, I may feel the need to firmly educate you on exactly what sort of asshole you are.

    Body positively often conjures the image of a morbidly obese girl on OnlyFans who lets people pay to watch her binge and intentionally get fatter while she says being purposefully inactive is just as healthy as hitting the gym. The real versions of that person are extremely rare, but their radicalism, vociferous nature, and platform make their voices much louder in comparison. Their argument is also easy to find flaw with and mock, so they get used as if they are a typical example of body positivity.

    You are right in that the woman I describe above needs help and is not behaving in a safe or healthy way. I also understand why you might think that is the norm. She is not, though, and I would encourage you to look deeper at the meaning of the “movement.”


    The “you” above is generic and based on broad assumptions. You, the reader, might be stronger than me and have way more endurance than me. You also might be fatter than I am. The odds are very good that you are also not an asshole. My point was to call out variances from the norm as convenient examples, of which I have plenty in both directions.





  • It does, and it largely mirrors what I was expecting. I had hoped that there is more concrete advice, but I suspect that we are beyond the level where advice is straightforward.

    “Congratulations! You will never be able to do your own taxes again,” was the advice from those coordinating our current co-investment opportunity. I suspect that may be the last direct advice we may get for a long time.




  • Senators were not elected by the people before the 17th amendment. The House of Representatives represent the interests of the people of their districts, so they were elected by the people. Senators represent the interests of their state as an entity, so they were elected by the legislature of their state or appointed by their governor.

    The USA at the federal level is a republic, not a direct democracy. We elect those who vote upon the federal laws. I’m that easy, some worry that more voice of the people and less of the state as an entity runs afoul of that notion and the constitution itself.

    I understand that point from a limited perspective, but it is now frequently used as a way to ignore constituents and beat the drum of fascism. Do not trust a politician that is worried about the 17th amendment. That ship sailed a century ago.