My worst nightmare. I haven’t been to the barbers for just over 12 years now (thanks male pattern baldness), and I’m not sure I trust anyone with my beard except myself. If I mess it up at least I’m only mad at me.
Yours looks alright though tbh, I’d maybe just trim the bottom off that goatee bit but maybe wait till after the ZZ Top convention.
Yep, the big 'uns feel sinful, but if you shout “Turn away, Jesus!” before you eat it, it’s ok.
Oh, and Aldi’s Meatsters are superior to Pepperami in every way.