Melon Husk?

Well, I did serve throughout the Iraq War. I got some PTSD from my time in war zones that is a 70% disability rating alone. Plus several minor and major physical injuries over the years that I never fully recovered from.

The VA doesn’t do a direct addition when it comes to disability, so a 10% rating and a 10% rating doesn’t equal a 20% rating overall. They have some weird equation to calculate disability, which would probably bring it out to 12-15% disability total. But I had so many claims to submit, I made it all the way to 100%.

I thought I had maybe 2-3 medical claims to make when I retired. But I spoke with a VA counselor who spent 3 hours pouring over my 20 years of medical records in the military, then went over every single body part and asked detailed questions about my functionality and how it’s potentially degraded over the years since I joined the military. By the end, I had 33 claims to submit, and the VA accepted 30 of them. Enough small ratings (plus a few large ones) got me all the way to 100%.

I may not look disabled if you met me in person, but I am struggling, both mentally and physically. The VA actually fixed my knees; I was walking with a cane for the last 4 years I was in the military. But it’s not a perfect fix, so I still struggle to get around and I can’t run anymore without pain. But I don’t need a cane anymore, so there’s that.

YOU ARE ONLY 38?!

I was 38 when I retired three years ago, actually. I’m about to turn 41 in a few months. Sorry if I didn’t write that clearly in my comment.

The first few years going home feels like nothing ever changes but I recently went to my home town for a wedding and saw some friends for the first time in 15 years. Wow did the passage of time hit me like a truck.

I feel this. In my early years of the military, I used to take a month off every year and go home to chill with family and friends. The first few years of that, it was like nothing changed. But then I started dating my future wife and spending my time off traveling and honeymooning with her. When I did finally go home again, I almost didn’t recognize it. My friends and family had moved further away, my hometown had changed, everything was suddenly different.

True, 38 isn’t that old. But keep in mind, I’m 100% disabled according to the VA. Two decades of military service has wrecked my body, so I’m unable to work any physically demanding job. Heck, I struggle just to go up and down stairs in my own house without pain in my knees and back.

Which is a shame, because I was an extremely fit and active person in my youth. That’s part of the reason I joined the military - I was in the best shape of my life and could keep active all day without breaking a sweat. I’m actually frustrated now that just walking from my house to my mailbox takes me out of action for an hour or two.

I keep telling myself I’m young, but my body’s acting like it’s 80 years old. That’s the one downside to military service; it can easily overstress your joints and physically age you much faster than normal.

This is a compartmentalization technique seen in a lot in people with ADHD. Not saying OP has ADHD, but it’s something to look into if they have other signs.

I did this for literal decades. I was excited to start my adult life after high school, but an opportunity I couldn’t pass up dropped into my lap, so I chose that route instead.

Joining the US military was that opportunity. My uncle explained how the Air Force had taken care of him for 30 years, giving him free food, free lodging, free education, free travel around the globe, free medical and dental, and a steady, decent paycheck on top of it all. It sounded too good to be true, so I signed up as well. I figured I could get back to my plans for adult life later, after I’d taken advantage of all the benefits the military could offer me.

20 years later (3 years ago), I retired from the Air Force. It was a pretty stressful career, in a positive way, so I was glad to get home, relax a bit, then finally pick up my life where I left off.

The things is, a lot happens in 2 decades. All my friends had left town and moved on to new lives, new careers, created new families, etc. my own family had mostly moved away, except for my dad who was still living in my childhood home. He offered to let my wife and I stay with him rent free as long as we wanted. He passed away last year and I inherited the house from him.

So now I’m back in my childhood home, just starting to really get settled back in and trying to figure out what to do with myself. I feel like my life has been on hold for so long, I don’t even know where to start in picking things back up again. I’m not young anymore, so a lot of the physically active jobs and hobbies I was previously interested in are either difficult or impossible for me now. I also changed a lot mentally with 20 years of military service. I’m not the same person I was at 18, so I have to readjust my interests and hobbies.

Fortunately, I have a lifelong pension from the military. I was grandfathered into the old pension program before they switched to a 401K-type plan, so I get paid half my final paycheck every month for the rest of my life. I also got the coveted “100% Permanent & Total” disability rating from the VA, so that is an additional monthly payment for life that’s about double the size of my pension. Plus free medical and dental for life. My wife didn’t retire from the military, but she also got the 100% P&T disability rating, so she gets the same medical pay and benefits as me.

So with all this passive income, we can actually be retired, as of 38 years old, and have the free time every day to focus on rediscovering our lives. I don’t feel like I need to put my life on pause while I work a job I don’t necessarily care for, or save up enough money for something I really want to do. I can live my life fully now, unpaused, for the first time in my life. It’s been very liberating, both mentally and physically.

We set up Teams during the pandemic (because Zoom was being a bitch about the govt not paying to use their full suite). We already used a bunch of other Microsoft products, so it was easy to get a contract for Teams integration too. I don’t remember Teams giving people a notification when you joined though, just the meeting host. But I’ve also been retired for nearly 3 years now, so I have no idea how Teams has changed recently.

Your boss has no right to ask you to come earlier than your agreed time.

In the military, they have every right.

You see, when you join the military, you sign a contract for 4-6 years of service. The day that contract begins, you start your first shift and it doesn’t technically end until your contract expires, several years later. You’re on shift 24/7/365 until your contract is up. So your boss can demand you work any shift or come in at any time, day or night, and you just have to do it. Even if it’s outside of your normally scheduled work hours.

There are regulations that outline “regular passes,” which is time off granted daily because you’re human and can’t literally work 24/7. A regular pass allows you to go home, eat, sleep, and be refreshed for the next day. I don’t know if the federal regs have changed in the last handful of years, but the last time I looked them up, you couldn’t work more than 17 hours straight before you were required to take a minimum 8 hours off to rest. Most shifts are typically 8-12 hours long, so hopefully you don’t get stuck working a 17-hour shift anytime soon.

The whole point of this is that military people need to be ready to respond to war, no matter when it strikes. You don’t work a regular day shift, then argue about extra hours or overtime pay when shit hits the fan. You just grab your bugout bag and go. And yes, we don’t get overtime pay because again - we’re always on shift.

We do get lots of time off, though. From the day you join, you start earning 2.5 days off for every month you serve, which adds up to 30 days off per year. You can carry over something like 60 days off every year too. It was pretty nice. In my early service days, I would save up a whole month of time off and then take it all at once to go hang out with my friends and family back home.

When I served in the military, my first supervisor taught me a valuable lesson: “15 minutes early, or you’re late.” I actually got in trouble with her if I was less than 15 minutes early to any meeting, appointment, or event.

Or even arriving to work. We worked in an IT field, so our office had a large row of server racks along one wall. Her desk sat facing the door, but next to the GPS server that kept accurate time for all our computers on the military base. It had a giant digital clock on the front of the server. Every day when I walked into work, she would look up at me, then turn and look at that clock. If I was even 10 seconds late (to the 15-minute rule), I got in trouble with her. I was never late to work though, because she ensured I was always there earlier than my official shift start time.

Being 15 minutes early to everything has changed my life. If I’m running behind, I have a quarter hour window to get myself back on track. If I arrive 15 minutes early, I have plenty of time to get myself set up and situated. Or just time to sit and clear out some other pending tasks while I wait for a thing to start (check phone notifications, clear out emails, etc.).

When it comes to virtual meetings, I like to join 15 minutes early, then mute myself and turn off my camera. Then I can sit at my computer and knock out some other tasks while I’m waiting for the meeting to start. That buffer gives me time to mentally switch into meeting mode while also giving me time to be productive beforehand. And no one is waiting for me to show up, so if the meeting is ever running late, it’s never my fault.

Only worth it if Christopher Lee plays the werewolf.

I’ve been shaving since I was 12 years old (I’m 40 now). For most of those shaving years, I liked to get really close to the mirror, to ensure I didn’t miss a spot, so I always leaned far over the sink to get that close shave.

Unbeknownst to me, spending decades leaning unsupported over the sink for 7-10 minutes every morning gave me very strong lower back muscles, which also helped to stabilize my core. I never had back problems, even when all my friends, family, and coworkers started to develop back pain later in life.

About 7 years ago, I discovered the wonders of shaving in the shower. I put a small mirror on my shower wall and shaved without all the additional hassle of cleaning a sink and counter. It was wonderful… except I wasn’t doing my morning lower back routine because I could stand upright, right next to the mirror. My lower back started getting weaker over time.

About 4 years ago, I slipped while going down my stairs and landed hard, injuring my back. I used to be able to bounce back from a fall like that, but I actually had to go to the ER to ensure I hadn’t broken something; I couldn’t even sit up straight without pain.

The pain lessened but never really went away and I found myself finally stuck with permanent back pain.

I’m considering getting rid of my shower mirror and shaving over the sink like I used to, to help rebuild my lower back muscles and better support my spine. My wife deals with permanent back pain thanks to degenerative disc disease, and the things that helps her the most is building a stronger core and lower back muscles, to take the support away from the areas that want to cause pain.

In the first grade, I was bullied by a popular kid in my school.

Back in those days (early '90s), the cool thing was to have pencil grips. Kids loved to show off an assortment of colors and styles of them. This bully of mine happened to have a single pencil, covered from tip to eraser with pencil grips, which was his prize possession. He was always showing it off to everyone. It was rumored he’d been stealing them off other kids, but no one could definitively prove it.

When he wasn’t looking one day, I snatched his favorite pencil with all the pencil grips. It was justice for all the times he picked on me in grade school. I enjoyed watching him frantically turn his backpack inside out, trying to find it.

I didn’t get to keep it for long, though. A week later, one of the stricter teachers found it in my backpack and told me I had too many pencil grips for a single pencil, so she confiscated it. I didn’t know any better at the time, or else I would’ve complained about her stealing my property. But it was already stolen, so I didn’t really care to fight it.

That was the first and last time I stole something. I actually agonized over it for a long time afterward. I was relieved when the teacher stole it from me because it was finally out of my hands and I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. I never stole anything else again; the anxiety of holding onto stolen goods etched itself deep into my psyche.

Also calling out my sister: When I was maybe 6 or so, my mother found a stash of candy in a cabinet of our kitchen; mostly Lifesavers. She asked me where it came from and I just shrugged. She then asked my sister, who was 2 years younger than me, and my sis immediately broke down crying. Turns out, every time my mother went to the gas station, my little sis would grab a couple rolls of Lifesavers and pocket them. She thought my parents would never look in the messy cabinets of our kitchen.

I'm pretty sure she never stole again after getting caught. She was a wreck for a while afterward and almost terrified of candy when offered.

The creator of Lower Decks wrote her a letter explaining how important her character was to him and she read the script and enjoyed it. She also asked if she could just go by Jolene in this, which he was cool with.

Saved you a click.

A coworker of mine did this. He and his new wife took parts of their last names and blended them together to create a unique new last name for both of them.

Oh wow, this was actually a thing.

We used these ToughBooks on deployments in the US military about 20 years ago. One of the guys in my unit tested it by slowly driving a Humvee over it. It still worked. Screen was a little cracked, though.

I could… But it came out in 2014. I think I’m well beyond the 2 month return window.

This happened to me with Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor the year it released. I got tired of waiting for it to go on sale, so I finally bought it at full $60 price. The very next day, it was on sale for $5.99. D’oh!

I’ve lived too much of my life as male. I think it’d be impossible to erase or dissociate from +30yrs of me. Hell, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to stop seeing myself as a man.

I totally get this. As a 40-yr old with extremely masculine features, there’s no way I could ever successfully transition. Maybe if transitioning was a thing back when I was like 12-14 years old, I might’ve had a chance. But I’ve been male for so long, and even more masculine in appearance than most men I know, so I think it’s only something I can fantasize about at this point.

I think it was paid… But it’s been years so I couldn’t tell you.

It’s currently $3.99 in the Play Store for me, with a crossed-out list price of $6.49. Not a bad deal.

When I was stationed in Germany with the US military in 2010, I wrecked my car in a blizzard. It was totaled; I couldn’t drive it anymore and I needed to get to work every day, so I dropped cash on a used 2006 Mazda 3. It was a 5-speed manual and was in immaculate condition. The former owner had detailed journal entries and receipts for every bit of maintenance they’d ever done. They were only selling it because they had more cars than they needed at the time and they needed some quick cash.

Fast forward to 2020… I was stationed in Nebraska and my Mazda 3 was finally showing its age. I had driven it across most of Europe and half of the US, and its mileage was approaching 200K. I was in the market for a new car.

I found myself “deployed” to South Carolina for 4 months during the pandemic, and while I was there, my wife called me up and asked if I wanted her to buy a new car for me. Apparently, some married friends of hers bought a brand-new 6-speed 2017 Mazda 3 Touring Edition as their daily driver to college classes. But their entry to college was delayed a few years, then the pandemic hit and all classes moved online. So it was just cluttering up their garage. They had 5 cars and hardly drove any of them, so they decided to sell 4 of them during the pandemic.

The 2017 Mazda 3 had only 7,000 miles on it. And they sold it to me for $17K cash. It was a helluva deal! I sold my 2006 Mazda 3 to a coworker and my wife bought the 2017 version for me. And I’ve been driving it since. It’s way nicer than my older version, and the previous owners had even paid for some upgrades to the base car.

I’m retired now, since 2022, and I don’t need to drive as much as I used to, but I always take my 2017 Mazda 3 when I leave the house. I enjoy cruising around in that car. It’s not a super fancy luxury car, but it’s the nicest car I’ve ever owned. I’m hoping I can get a solid decade or more out of this car before I need another one.