What do pineapples have to do with this?

Might actually get them to turn themselves in:

“There’s no way I’m only the 3 of Clubs. I’m definitely the King of Hearts or Ace of Spades. Who do I talk to about getting that changed?”

Yeah, but what about those upload speeds? Most cable providers give large download bandwidth, but next to nothing on your upload speeds. Synchronous connections are always best!