numbermess

Fucked

Had this conversation with my stepmom. She is complaining that peaches cost $1 each. She thinks this is too expensive and that the cost will go down now. I’m quietly kind of amazed that she thinks that she’ll even find a peach that didn’t rot on the ground for less than $10 or whatever they will cost once the labor goes up. I didn’t say anything to her about it because it just doesn’t matter anymore. It is pointless even to converse about any topic. We experience separate realities. She believes happy days are finally here, and I just don’t care if she sees another peach ever again in her lifetime. Whatever happens to the peaches is her fault.

So this cowboy puppy comes in here and says: I’m lookin for the man who shot my paw

Would also like to stop hearing the word Unhinged. I don’t think it carries any value anymore.

coRpse

Do you know what a shit barometer is, boy? Measures the Shit Pressure in the air. When the Barometer rises, and you’ll feel it too, your ears will implode with the Shit Pressure. I tried to warn you, Bubs, but you picked the wrong side! Beware, the Shit Winds are a-comin!

Ben Stiller

They’ll fall in line pretty soon.

Revenant woman Screaming down the street Revenant woman The kind I’d like to stay very, very far the fuck away from

from “Revenant Woman” by Roy Orbison

I have about 5 pounds of bicentennial quarters.

Works every time!

Trump: No, many people are saying I’m the biggest whiner, like no one has ever seen, very whiny and powerful, frankly, and not only that, I’ll take it one step further with [invitation to stochastic terrorism]

We really like Sky Valley too.

I do like both of those things.

Excite Truck

This guy always has such dramatic YouTube thumbnail image face

This is fantastic

Ah. Nevertheless,

It’s crazy that this is the kind of shit we’re counting on now. It used to be the Guardrails and then it was the Wheels of Justice grinding exceedingly fine and now it’s Maybe Something Good Will Happen at the Last Minute

Very legal and very cool