• KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    11 months ago

    my ass is installing linux on the first machine capable of having linux installed on it.

    You are not safe, there is nothing you can do to stop me.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Your tinder date brings you into their home. While they are having a shower, you grab their laptop to install Linux mint cinnamon on it, but the Ventoy ISO wont boot. The track pad is greasy and crusted up with yellow stuff. Screen hinge is cracked. You boot it up to get your bearings. Windows XP, service pack 1. No password. 1 GB RAM. 32 bit CPU. Super PC clean is running. Blatant malware. No antivirus in sight. Internet Explorer 6 lumbers to the foreground. Fifteen spyware toolbars visible. Popups start flooding the screen. You look at the desktop, its littered with zip files with random file names. The mouse cursor is a pirate with a wooden leg. The CPU fan loudens to an alarming volume even though there’s no programs running that you can see.

      Do you:

      • Continue and try to install a 32 bit version of linux

      • leave silently, unmatch them on tinder, and block their number

      • Leave, but not before performing a mercy killing on the laptop

    • jol@discuss.tchncs.de
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      11 months ago

      Had an annon grindr date try this on me once. Except I already had Linux on all my electronics. Hottest sex ever. Happily married for 6 years.

      • miversen33@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        I have an Ubuntu live disc and a Windows install on a USB drive on my keychain lol. The amount of times I’ve needed one of those and not had it is more than 0 lmao