• Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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    7 months ago

    We did have a child, and I do not regret it, but we also have the means to support her and a way to escape the U.S. if things get much worse. Many Americans don’t have either option, and no child should be neglected or abused and every child should have a robust support system. I wish we would encourage and educate people on contraception on a grand scale.

    • ninjan@lemmy.mildgrim.com
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      7 months ago

      Quick note though, one child is still far below replacement rate. Though you didn’t state if you’re one and done or not.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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        7 months ago

        True, and we were definitely one and done and now my wife is 46, so it would be way too risky. We wouldn’t have been able to financially support a child and I didn’t want to end up having a favorite, which sure happened with me and my brother who could do no wrong despite being a major asshole. I wouldn’t want to have a favorite, but I wouldn’t be able to prevent it either. And I wouldn’t want to have more than one kid if it turned out I thought one was better than the other. That could lead to proper child care issues.

        Also, raising just the one has been a herculean effort due to all sorts of things, so I don’t regret it. I love her more than anything in the world and I don’t regret any of the effort I’ve made, but I don’t know that I would have been able to handle two such kids on a mental level.

    • wjrii@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      My wife travels a lot for work, and I dabbled in genealogy years ago to track down my own birth relatives. By combining the two, my wife and our daughter now have EU passports, and I’m eligible for a long-term visa.

      Theoretically I could be eligible for Slovakian citizenship (which is not their EU country) based on my own DNA ties, but that would require some mental gymnastics and a very progressive interpretation of how closed infant adoption affects legal rights.

      I am actually very fond of Texas, and I think the idea of it is worth fighting for, and that there’s a strain of tolerance and hospitality and diversity here that could be compatible with a much more progressive worldview. I have hope that it can be better than it is. I think any place with people who love it is worth trying to make into the best version of itself, to say nothing of the people who couldn’t leave even if they wanted to…

      but we’re also not going to be the last ones out if we lose that hope.

        • wjrii@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          You need a grand-grandparent (or more recent) born in Slovakia. My biological great grandmother was born in a small town in the eastern half of what is now Slovakia, and immigrated to the US in the late 1920s. I was adopted as an infant though, so my legal family has no such connections, and while I could try to make my case, it would be both circumstantial and rather technical unless I could get help from my birth father, which is, shall we say, unlikely.

          • ripcord@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            Interesting. My grandmother was.

            I’ve wondered what my options to get to the EU are if I really wanted. That…is interesting.

            Edit: do you have a source by any chance? So far I only see rules allowing if parents were Slovakian citizens.

            • wjrii@lemmy.world
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              7 months ago

              The Australian embassy seems to have updated their page more recently than the US or Canada, and they mention the grandparents and great grandparents thing. I’d check with the US embassy (assuming you’re in the US) to confirm, but it looks like the long-discussed law change did happen. I kinda lost interest when I realized the doors I’d have to barge in to have a plausible chance of success. YMMV. :-)

    • ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Yes, the same here. We had 2 kids (and then a vasectomy). We’re not rich, but we do have a house we could sell to aid leaving, and we have enough in savings to make it without selling the house, if we needed to leave right away. Of course, environmental issues will be a global problem, but the response to those will likely be better in some places as compared to others.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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        7 months ago

        Not if Trump is president. My daughter is queer, she and I are both Jewish, and my wife is a librarian. They either want us to be part of their genocide or, in my wife’s case, in prison.

        I have dual citizenship with the UK and also theoretically German citizenship. And I am sure as hell going to take advantage of that depending on what happens in November. I don’t even care about me, I care about my daughter.

        • Nougat@fedia.io
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          7 months ago

          Well, as I’ve said before, Illinois is close, and probably easier to get to on short notice if necessary. I’m a ways north of you (in IL), but my home is available to you if you find yourself in danger.

          Edit: And you’d be coming this way anyway to fly overseas out of O’Hare, right?

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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            7 months ago

            Honestly, I’d probably drive somewhere less prominent and fly out from there. No reason to attract attention if you’re fleeing. But I appreciate the offer.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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            7 months ago

            That’s really awesome of him! I don’t care whether it was being friendly or officially announcing it. Either way, that’s amazing!