My grandparents had, and Aunt now has, the “Couch of Death”. Nothing morbid, but it’s the most comfortable couch any of us have ever sat on. If you don’t escape in the first 20 minutes, you’re taking a nap wether you wanted to or not! They reupholstered that couch several times over 40 years, always in something ugly.

When I was in high school (1990s) my buddies and I were walking around town and we found something in the street. It was a piece of a busted toy. It was a solid piece of rubbery plastic. It had a pair of legs wearing shorts, socks and shoes, but above the belt it was just gums and a bottom set of teeth. I named him Teeth with Legs and kept him in every car I owned. Eventually, we started putting him on the Christmas tree. My kids decided that his position is at the top, so he can protect the angel.

If I find a photo of TwL, I’ll share.

I had staff that used to talk over me and each other. Drove me batshit, but they were good employees. One day, i couldn’t get my words out for being interrupted, when i suddenly grabbed my sea otter tape dispenser off my desk and proclaimed “I have the talking otter! Let me finish speaking!”

They were so thrown off by the absurdity that it worked! I got my thought out, then handed the Talking Otter to the next person who had comments. From then on, if they got unruly, I’d say “do I have to go get the otter?”

The plank of tenths. At my work we have a hammer and 2X4 (plank of tenths) that we use on…uncooperative fixtures. It has a little face on it and the fraying wood is it’s hair. After all the bolts are tightened (or mostly so) it may be just out of spec so, a few “words of encouragement” from the plank of tenths can fixer right up.

We have a tolerance to hold of .0005 inches (one-tenthousandths of an inch = .0001, so 5 Tenths is the total tolerance)

For metric users: Google.com

lmao JK .00254mm