• Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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      23 days ago

      Neither the question nor the answer should ever be a surprise.

      The time, and location of proposal are the surprise.

      When I asked my now wife, I knew for sure she was going to say yes, and I knew she would want a simple ring with her birth stone instead of a diamond.

      She had no idea I was going to ask her in the manner I did while we were out camping. that was the surprise for her. Not the question itself.

      • Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        23 days ago

        The engagement can be a surprise didn’t read any differently to me than what you laid out. The only surprise for my wife was that I got her dad’s blessing since that was important to her and when/how I went about it. Was in our home, I’m not someone that feels anyone else needs to be involved. To me our engagement was still a surprise but she had already participated in ring shopping with me and we had obviously discussed thoroughly before hand.

    • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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      23 days ago

      Nope. If the question was a surprise then your communication skills as a couple aren’t there yet.

      • NABDad@lemmy.world
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        23 days ago

        The timing can be a surprise, but if you don’t know the answer, don’t ask the question.

    • PunnyName@lemmy.world
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      23 days ago

      Engagement is the initiation of marriage, they are the same. So your sentence doesn’t make sense