knowing who posted this before even checking the username…
Lemmy stands on the shoulders of like 5 people with some uhhh interesting social media habits
yes but thats kinda why it is so compfy around here
if adora and jessica stop posting, blahaj.zone might as well close.
I’m here wondering how it spawned 90+ comments
Pretty much my current relationship. (I’m not the one “being used” though.)
Reality isn’t always as sexy though: Your moods won’t always be in sync and your libidos won’t always match. That’s just human. But those times it all matches are just magic.
And for the other times: Open communication, toys and setting and respecting clear boundaries go a long way.
Based and consent pilled
So true. I started taking SSRI (anti depressants) and have very little sex drive now. The only thing that seems to help is weed right now.
I think I would always be down to suck some gock, even if I’m not really in the mood myself. I love making the girlies happy.
I had this for a couple of years. It’s all it’s cracked up to be. Really wish she hadn’t gone crazy, shaved her head, and moved to Bali.
Classic
It really is, isn’t it?
The whole “sex object” complaint never made sense to me tbh. Like I’ve always wanted “sex object” to be a part of my identity. It’s great for non-sexual stuff to be appreciated, but I’d want my partner to just be horny for me at least for a portion of the time.
It’s a problem when it’s all that your partner cares about. Sex is great, but the vast majority of the time you spend with your SO will not involve fucking. That other 90% is important too.
God I wish I could find a relationship that was 10% sex. I would actually try dating again.
I choose to read this as if you meant “only 10% sex” - because it amuses me, not because I think 10% is insufficient.
That would be a much better problem to have.
I don’t know if it’s puritanical or what, but I think some people misunderstand sexual objectification to be a rejection of all sexual displays entirely. Like as an idiom, even.
On the idiom point, it’s entirely possible to objectify people in other ways, but I never really see anyone talk about them.
Some common ones: worker, consumer, commuter, fan, voter, reader, viewer, subscriber…
Edit: sex worker is an interesting one, conceptually. Plenty of people talk about how “wrong” and “coercive” it can be (and they can be right!), but for some reason like to skip over the whole incentive coming from the exact same place as any other work done to make a living. They don’t do sexual things for money because people want them to, they do it because they need to pay bills.
On your edit… yes, and the problem there is that should be considered coercive for all work. We shouldn’t work for money. We should work because the work has value to the population. A lot of work is the opposite, and yet people do it because they have to pay the bills. Working in scam call centers is an extreme example. There are people who go to sex clubs and such where they have sex with semi strangers and what not. There would probably be a lot more if it wasn’t considered taboo. So the “industry” as it is would not go away, it would change if paying the bills wasn’t the driver.
Being treated only as a font of knowledge, a hard worker, a reliable friend (when the friendship is otherwise not rewarding), having a lot of tools, etc, is kind of crappy. I at least get pleasure from sex. Honestly, if I had my druthers of how folks reduce me, I wouldn’t hate being valued for being good in bed.
I wonder if the friend with the truck ever feels like that.
Hm, they could. I don’t think that objectification is truly always a bad thing. It obviously sucks when people use you, but being ‘the friend with …’ can also be an excuse to see people more often. Kind of like how the social function of a lot of holidays is just to bring distant people together again.
Sexual objectification is of particular importance because it has ties to the cultural perception of women, rape culture, etc., but it’s also fine to just think your wife who you admire for her strong perserverance and creativity also has titties that are fire.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the problem is more about people other than your partner thinking like that.
The whole “sex object” complaint never made sense to me tbh.
The key word here is object. When people complain about sexual objectification, most often they are complaining about people being treated as if they were sexual objects devoid of agency. There is nothing wrong with sex.
I just never saw it that way. Like there’s object as in inanimate thing, or there’s object as in object of the sentence, which is just the entity that isn’t doing the verb in the sentence, but that doesn’t imply they can’t be the subject of another sentence or that removing their agency is ok. There’s a difference between desiring someone and not caring what they desire.
Same, girl. Same. 😔
Godsdammit my violet08 is leaking acid salts again. Accidentally left the batteries in her for a year again.
Same dude. Same.
Same y’all. Same.
I like being a sentient dildo.
You like being sentient??
Do people really want the whole “be used as a sex toy any time” thing? I do not understand that at all, tbh. I’m not judging y’all or whatever, it’s just a very confusing concept to me. But sex is also a very complicated thing for me because of some shit I went through in my last relationship.
Yes, not at all uncommon in the BDSM community. Neither are 24/7 kink relationships. However, reality is different from fantasy and there is a fair amount of nuance in how this works in the context of a LTR and not a fun weekend.
yeah I’ve known subs with a “I want to wake up in the middle of sex” or “I want to be drugged” fetish.
The more this thread teaches me, the more I realize that me wanting a cute girl to pull my hair isn’t so crazy.
I once watched someone get chicken feet sewn into their skin at a fetish club. I think hair pulling is fine 🙂
How do you even discover that that’s your fetish. I have so many questions
Same way you find favorite foods: give it a try.
You hardly have to be a sub to want to wake up to a cute companion grinding on you.
Yeah, some people are into that. Terms called free-use. Sometimes its just an overly desire to be available to your significant other but there are many different ways one arrives at such affirmations
Many people like a bit of subordination/domination. As most things, it’s a spectrum and there are some people tending to either edges.
The two big caveats about subordination fetishes are however that firstly, such fantasies can be a response to trauma and/or abuse and secondly, it puts you in a very vulnerable position and leaves you very open to exploitation.
It’s the “comfy wholesome” part which really holds this together and makes it great: You’re putting an immense amount of trust and responsibility on your partner if you submit yourself like that and it can only work if your partner is fully aware of this, up to the task and really cares about you.
Can be wrong, but I suppose that here people mean that they are willing to have intercourse without preparations at any time they can if, of course, nothing prevents it(illness, urgent work, emergency, etc.). No need to have each tome a romantic date or a special occasion.
“A lady in the streets but a freak in the bed”
- Ludacris
One of the truest trues that ever trued.
Its freak in the sheets… its supposed to ryme… this broke me today.
“No pain, no increase”
Hes even a rapper. WTH…
At that point he’s just trolling.
It’s one of my 8 commandments.
Most women want a Kratos in the sheets and a Mimir in the streets
🎵 I’m an object, 🎵
🎵 She’s an object, 🎵
🎵 He’s an object, 🎵
🎵 We’re all objects, 🎵
🎵 Wouldn’t you like to be an object too? 🎵
Same, small furry creatures from Alpha Centuri. Same
Just the left one. I’m taking this virginity to my grave and my impressively godlike asexuality cannot be stopped.
But romance is so good.
You: but, what if we were just like REALLY good friends? Put that away please.
Yeah, based and wholesome stuff pilled
Aw yeah now that you put it that way, I actually prefer cuddling, could live without the slimy sweaty painful pounding. We need a third option up there for just romance & spooning with clothes on please.
It’s painful?
Am woman. Men who learn sex through porn think it’s ok to fuck us like we’re a slab of meat, and their penis is a merciless steel meat tenderizer, trying to fuck us until they until they kill us but thankfully they cum before they completely murder me. Actually I’ve gotten to the point I don’t even want the company of a man anymore because all they do is take pleasure and give pain.
Wow, you have very bad luck with men, I’m so sorry.
Or is it a cultural phenomenon? Where are you from?Hey, that’s not fair! I don’t take pleasure.
The pain aspect is something you should address. First with your partner if their technique can be changed, and second with a few doctors. This one is like a layer cake - maybe you’re ace, maybe there is emotional context (that could be entirely unrelated to your current situation) that causes physical discomfort, or possibly there’s a physical component that your doctor might be able to help you with. Or some combination of all of them, because people are complex.
But romantic asexuality is definitely a thing, as is a number of variants within it.
OK, by now we get that you’re rampantly horny, but besides that, what’s your damage? Just the standard ADHD/autism, or borderline/dissociative or something extra spicy?
Borderline :3
